I Create My Own Reality


Sitting comfortably in the passenger seat, I drift out of consciousness. . .

Awhile later, I am walking through a green, mystical forest; the sunlight seeping in between the trees, my bare feet sinking into the damp moss, and my white dress blowing in the warm breeze. As I wander through this heavenly scene, I glance to my right and see a young, glowing, freckled girl jumping rope and giggling at fireflies in the distance.


Memories from my childhood flash before my eyes: birthday parties, ice skating, gymnastics, parades. . . all ending the day her father backed too quickly out of the driveway.

I couldn’t fathom what she would possibly be doing here, in my oasis.

I start walking toward her, but she didn’t seem to notice me coming. I am within arm’s reach of her long, brown, braided hair when she turns to me and says, “It’s been awhile.” Startled and confused, I respond with a blank stare. Moments later she says softly, “Keep me in your dreams.”

Before I can reply, her head slowly falls back and she dissolves into a white cloud of nothingness. . . Instantly, I am slammed into something incredibly hard— violently jerking and jolting in each and every direction. I can see bizarrely for a moment between my two worlds; seemingly vibrating in both of them at once. I am trying to figure out what is going on in this new, disruptive reality, while still searching for Rachel in my previous one.

 • • •

The police officer said I should have died, even with my seatbelt on. Going 90 mph, flying 75ft through the air, bouncing, rolling 6 times, and landing upside down. . . In a convertible.

Yet there I was, tied to a stretcher, breathing.  

How could this be possible? As I am trying to make sense of this whole experience, I feel the tatters of my old worldview lying shredded on the floor around me.


Following my accident, a cornucopia of questions pulled at all the strings of my muddled little mind. Did she know I was going to die? Did I die and was given a second chance?

I had no idea what she meant by, “keep me in your dreams,” but I figured I must do just that. . . This is when my world of lucid dreaming began.  

I spent hours online learning all the knicks and tricks of becoming lucid in your dreams. Although I was always an extremely vivid dreamer, I wouldn’t have called myself an ‘expert of lucidity’ until the 4th of July, 2010, when I laid myself to bed for a quick nap.

Within that half hour, I was gone for what felt like months (in my own mind).

I was transported to an insane ‘astral world’ where I had my own spirit guide/lucid dreaming trainer. She took me to a ‘lucid dreaming training camp’ where I spent the entirety of what felt like two months learning lucid dreaming techniques. There, I learned how to look into mirrors, poke my finger through my hand, rub my hands together, spin, ask my subconscious questions, manipulate scenery, study, paint, and a whole lot more.

I woke up ready to put this new knowledge to the test— I was destined to find out what happened to my world that day, and I wouldn’t stop dreaming until I got my answer.

About 3 months later, I had finally brought myself back to that same remarkable forest. . . But Rachel was nowhere to be seen. I figured I must not have enough control over this dimension, so I started to become more lucid by rubbing my hands together.

Nope, still no sign.

I began spinning in circles. . . Where was she? Nothing.

I thought to find a mirror.

As soon as the idea popped into my mind, I looked to the left and saw a long, skinny mirror peeking out between two trees in the distance. I start to walk toward it and notice my reflection beginning to shrink — although it should have been getting larger since I was walking closer (nothing needs to make sense in dream world). I continued toward the mirror.

My curly, reddish hair started to straighten and lose its color— within seconds it was longer, straighter, and turning dark brown. My blue-green eyes started darkening, as well. Then, tiny brown specks began falling from the sky and landing all over my skin.

I looked down at my now freckle-covered arm in amazement. As soon as I glanced up, the mirror was gone, and there she was; standing right in front of me with no look of concern on her young and glowing face.

“Rachel,” I gasped.

“Natasha,” She replied in a friendly tone.

“I’m not going to wake up upside down in a car again, am I?”

She giggled, “Not this time!”

I paused and asked in a serious tone, “Did I… die?”

“You would have died, had you chosen to. Your reality is up to you.

She then reached out for my hand and asked me to go on a walk.

She told me, “you change your mind and your entire universe will change.” Throughout our whole conversation, she kept emphasizing the fact that I could control precisely what happened in my life.

She took me to a lookout point over a spacious valley. As we stood there, she would wave her hand across the valley and create pictures of my life memories, showing me firsthand how this was all possible. She demonstrated by creating images of (just a few) times in my life where a shift in my beliefs, perception, and thinking changed everything.

She said that just as I had learned to become lucid in this dimension and create worlds, I was also creating the world of my waking-reality dimension. . . I just needed to learn to become lucid to do so intentionally.

 • • •

I awoke with an indescribable, awestruck ecstasy, for I knew my life was about to change.